U-14 parents win the Great Melville Quiz

Melville has several new teams this year, and in a pub overflowing with eggheads, bores and trivia merchants, it now also has proud new quiz champions.

The “Offside U-14s” team of Warren King, Cate Prestidge, Simon Leadley, Mily Leadley, Pete Lawrence, Tanya Lawrence, Ian Richards and Zoe Richards cleaned up at the Great Melville Quiz for 2017 at The Dinsdale Office on Monday night, winning a BMW Series 3 G-20.*

In second place was the “We’re Not Gay But $20 is $20” team, based mostly around Melville D Team personnel of Dreg Holt, Dlan Holt, Dharon Holt, Dophie Holt, Dallum Braithwaite, Dussell Wilson and Ditch Davis.

In third place were last year’s champions, the “I’m Not a Doctor But I’ll take a Look” team of the Bouma twins, Merv and Wytse.

The evening raised over $1400 towards the Melville U-19 team’s entry to the Napier Tournament at Labour Weekend.

In previous years winners have been humble in victory. But not this year.

“It was easy,” said winning team member Zoe Richards. “Some of us are English.”

However the perceived advantage of Englishness was not apparent elsewhere. Rotherham’s Honest Phil Wheatley was among the losing Melville Unicorns team, while Sam Wilkinson, who grew up in Hillcrest but likes to think he is from Manchester, was no more successful with the underperforming “Gower to the People” team, featuring brainbox Seamus “The Chaser” Marten.

In a tricky quiz perhaps slightly too heavy on Frankenstein, Dracula, Brendon O’Carroll, and Kiera Knightley questions, the Offside U-14s were always in front.

Was there nothing they couldn’t answer? As it happened there was just one question that had them stumped. Were they linked to the Melville Green or Melville Red U14s?

At the end of the evening Melville U-19 spokesman Thomas “Likeable” Mouncher eloquently thanked organisers Andrea, Antonia and Selena Timings, as well as sponsors Joma, Ashdown Ingram, Glenview New World, GJ Gardner Homes, BNZ, and TDO.

“In one way or another we learned a lot tonight about our fellow club members,” Mouncher observed. “In some we found knowledge, in others we found generosity. But in all we found commitment to a common cause, as well as a desire to show that Melville membership is about far more than just turning up with your boots on Saturday.

“Quizzes are by nature pitched at an older, wiser audience than those eligible to play Napier, but the squad that is travelling will certainly appreciate the buy-in of everyone here tonight. Should we win at Park Island, a small part of that success will be due to all of you who struggled so manfully to deconstruct a Cliff Richard photo or a Paul McCartney anagram.

“And what we do know without requiring an answer sheet is that whether it is a pub quiz or a youth football tournament, the price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether you win or lose, that you have applied the best of yourselves to the task at hand.”

* Alternately the major prize may have been a $100 bar tab – this requires clarification.

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